Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A gift of bacon

My friend’s dream gift is a basket of bacon products. At one time that might have been hard to assemble, but no more, not thanks to the bacon crazy folks who have put bacon in just about anything you can think of. A lot of these products contain “bacon flavor” and not much bacon, but their artery clogged hearts are in the right place.

A short stroll down the grocery aisle and a quick look on the internet, and I have plenty to fill my gift basket. Bacon gumballs, bacon jelly beans, gummy bacon, bacon peanut brittle, bacon chocolate bars, maple bacon morning coffee, maple bacon donuts, bacon syrup, Bakon vodka, Rouge Voodoo Maple Bacon Ale, bacon popcorn, bacon potato chips, bacon soda, bacon in cheese, bacon mustard, bacon sunflower seeds, bacon croutons, Baconnaise, bacon breadsticks, bacon apple pie, bacon frosting,  Coolhaus Bacon Ice Cream Bars, pre-cooked, shelf-stable bacon, bacon hotdogs, bacon salt, bacon jam, bacon bits, and something called The Bacon Explosion, bacon wrapped around a large log of spiced pork sausage and crumbled bacon. Pre-cooked!

Then there’s bacon soap, bacon scented candles, band-aids that look like strips of bacon, bacon lip balm, bacon toothpaste, but alas, bacon flavored Scope mouthwash was just a hoax.

This of course doesn’t include the many food products that you would expect to contain bacon. There are lots of frozen meals that contain bacon, plenty of sandwiches and snacks, and of course, there is real bacon on aisle two.

A more detailed search would no doubt turn up choices even more numerous and bizarre, but I have enough to fill a gift basket certain to satisfy even the most fanatical bacon lover. What did I leave out, bacon flavored Lipitor?

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